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Mary Beth Koeth
  • OVERVIEW
  • PERSONAL
    • No Partner Required
    • Missed Milestones
    • Off-Season Santas
    • The Collector
    • Porn Moms
    • Richard Harr
    • Miami Boyfriends
    • People of the 8th Street Bus Stop
    • Indonesian Senior Club
    • Nephew in New York
    • Senior Ping Pong Olympics
    • Sonia Warshawski
  • PRINT
  • LIFESTYLE
  • Recent
  • about mb
  • contact

Christopher Heid | Best Landlord on Earth

My favorite landlord—although he was far too humble to ever let me call him that—Chris Heins passed away on August 21.

His sweet partner, Henry, didn’t contact me because I was away on a cruise. I hate that Chris is gone, but I am profoundly grateful that before I left Miami, I made this portrait of him. I’m grateful I paid attention. I’m grateful I kept a running list called “The Ways You Love Me, Chris,” which included taking in my mail when it rained and turning two borrowed dishwasher tablets into an entire new package.

Chris was one of the very few men I put on a pedestal. Since he always corrected me when I called him my landlord, I started calling him “my lord.” It felt more appropriate.

He followed the rules people learn in cotillion. He wore tailored shirts, pleated trousers and custom shoes. He collected art like a fancy Art Basel person and then asked me to help him hang it—which made me feel fancy, too.

I also had the great privilege of documenting his first trip to Trader Joe’s—or Trader Hoes, as I prefer to call it. Chris was decidedly more of a Whole Foods gentleman. My dear friend Dani Wex edited the footage of him perusing the aisles and quietly judging my favorite things. At the time, I didn’t post it because I knew it would embarrass him. Now I’m simply so glad I have it.

He didn’t love this portrait because he was wearing house socks and shoes with khaki shorts. But I love it because it is him at home, surrounded by those adorable garden gnomes, being the cutest man alive.

I adored you, Christopher. Thank you for every tiny, thoughtful way you loved me. Thank you for letting me photograph you and for giving me something precious to hold now that you are gone.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet my lord, Christ.

I mean…Chris.

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tags: Christopher Heid, Chris Heid, Best Landlord, South Beach, Prettiest Condo in Sobe, Art Deco, Miami Beach, Condo, Garden, Gnomes, Kindness, Love, Family
categories: Commercial Photographer, celebrity photographer, Artist
Wednesday 09.02.26
Posted by Mary Beth Koeth
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